Choosing a Donor

There are many questions/issues to consider when choosing an egg donor. Websites of many organizations list numerous questions you might ask the donor or agency, but most of these are covered in our comprehensive donor questionnaire.

One question does remain, and few websites or companies address it:

How do I establish the criteria of what I want in a donor?

This is, clearly, completely subjective. However, we think that it’s important that you think about the following:

1. Whatever the egg donor’s physical and psychological makeup is (DNA), this is still only half of the equation. Which attributes are dominant (i.e. which appear in the resulting child) are often just as likely to come from the sperm side of the equation as from the ovum (egg) side. In addition, these attributes might come from previous generations of the egg or sperm provider. A donor is only part of the equation and there are no guarantees that the baby will look just like her.
2. In our experience most satisfied egg donor recipients seem to be those that look to match the physical qualities of the Intended Parents as closely as possible. Some Intended Parents also look for a donor with similar education or hobbies to themselves to add just one more connection. Mostly, these new parents are just looking for a healthy, happy child!
3. One of the nice benefits of egg donation is that you can offset (and often negate) genetically linked diseases and syndromes via the process. In other words, if there is a disease in your partner/sperm donor’s family that you would like to spare a resulting child from, make sure to choose a donor that has none of that particular disease in her family history.

In these cases, please review this issue with your coordinator at BHED, as we can probe further with our donors to make sure that we are providing you with in-depth information on your donor, giving you the best options for your child’s future.

Please let us know if you’d like to discuss your “choosing criteria” further. Along with our psychological and genetic counselors, we’d love to help you to explore the various options to make the best decision for you and, if appropriate, your partner.