Karl and Carl’s road to becoming parents was a roller coaster experience. They booked their first donor in late 2008 and it took a full year and a half, and three donors by the time everything was said and done, for their twin boys to make their debut. Throughout it all they remained positive, flexible and committed to making their dreams of parenthood a reality. A big CONGRATULATIONS from everybody here at BHED!
Posts Tagged ‘assisted reproduction’
Bonding
Wednesday, May 26th, 2010Below is our final topic in Brenda Fahn-Hardt’s series of discussions for Intended Parents. Thank you, Brenda, for all of your contributions over the past few weeks!
Will I Feel Bonded to My Child?
One fear that intended parents sometimes bring up is that they may not feel as connected or bonded to their child because they used an egg donor. I don’t think I have encountered any cases that substantiate this fear, but of course it is a valid concern. I tell intended parents that they may be more prepared to handle their child than parents who have biological children. Biological parents many times assume that they will understand their 
child, yet each child is unique and may or many not resemble their biological parents either. The key to parenting is to be attuned to who your child is. When you enter the world of parenthood, it is a daily challenge to let go of who you think your child “should” be and accept them for who they are. A daily lesson as a parent is to listen and accept your child for who he/she is. If you can do that there is no doubt that you will feel connected to your child.
Beverly Hills Egg Donation Staff Psychotherapist
Thoughts on Telling the Child
Thursday, May 20th, 2010In the latest installment of our five-part series for Intended Parents, Brenda shares her advice for how/when to share with a child that they were conceived with the help of an egg donor.
Do We Tell Our Child They Were Conceived Through Egg Donation?
All intended parents are confronted with the decision as to whether they should tell their child (and others) that they used a third-party to conceive their child. Parents usually come to a decision based on their own comfort level and feelings regarding using an egg donor or surrogate. Most experts agree that honesty is the best policy when it comes to informing your child. A good website that goes into more detail about how to talk to your children developmentally appropriate ways is www.donor-conception-network.org. The website has booklets entitled, “Telling and Talking”. These booklets offer informative advice on how to talk to your child at every stage. Before telling your child you want to assess 1) The child’s emotional and intellectual capacity to process the information and 2) The extent to which your family, culture or religion may be able to accept a child born through egg donation.
The decision to tell your child may be an easy one or one fraught with decision. Most experts agree that telling your child is the easier path to take. It is easier because there is no room for misconceptions or false information, which inevitably leads to feelings of betrayal or mistrust. It is also recommended to start giving some information at a relatively early age, from three to five years old. Again, the website mentioned above goes into thorough detail advising how to talk to children of all ages regarding their conception.
Beverly Hills Egg Donation Staff Psychotherapist
Update from Valerie and Adam
Wednesday, April 14th, 2010Last year, we posted this happy news from recent recipients, Valerie and Adam:
I went to FPNC today at 9:00AM for the first ultrasound, and Dr. Abusief showed me on the TV screen that there are two babies growing, each with a nice heartbeat and a “diamond ring” which means something like the cells are growing very well. When she started, she immediately said that she could see “two sacks,” but I had no idea what that meant. Then, she spent five minutes showing me the heartbeat in one of the sacks but wasn’t able to find the heartbeat in the other. This was a touch five minutes, with her saying things like, “this is normal…sometimes it just takes some time for the other one to start growing…” Then, Dr. Abusief finally was able to see the other heartbeat, and we all saw it really clearly. It had been over at one side. Dr. Abusief was very happy with everything she saw and said that the risk now of a “problem” is down to 15%. We’ll go back in two weeks for another ultrasound, and will know at that point if Baby A and Baby B are boys, girls, or one of each.
I’ve got a print-out of photos of both Baby A and Baby B.
I am so happy!!! I cried until my makeup ran down my face and I had to get back to work.
Thanks everyone for your help and support, especially to Lisa and Ellie from Beverly Hills Egg Donation for being such great advocates for us.
This has been a long and miserable journey for Adam and me, and hopefully we’ll now have the joy of parenthood.
-Valerie
Well, we are SO pleased to announce that the twins have arrived! Happy, healthy and oh-so-cute, Hermione and Dashiell were born in September….
Congratulations!!!!
