Q: I’m anticipating 2 major out-of-town events: my brother is graduating college on 5/5; and close friends getting married on 5/26. What is your experience with timelines and cycle startups? What are some possible scenarios? Have you ever had doctors allow you to go out of town for 2-4 days during a cycle? And if so, will they work with you pending your consistency with the protocol and availability for major follow-ups and procedures? I’ll of course ask my doctor when I go in for results in a month, but I’d like to have an idea and start getting my ducks in a row ASAP.
A: First, congratulations on being matched. Big news. As for your schedule – you have been picked. The chosen one, literally. The cycle cannot go forward without you. That said, ALL of the responsbibility lies on you at this point – and until the second the anesthesiologiest awakens you post-retrieval. If there is anything, anything, anything you need to make your med team aware of, do it immediately, whether you think it’ll be an issue or not. You have the right to list some blackout dates, but that doesn’t mean you get to dictate the schedule; it means it’ll be taken into consideration. If you have signed legal, and you are in the throes of testing, you are responsible for showing up for appointments every single time they’re on the schedule. It’s not just you going through the calendar, it’s the recipient/surrogate, so everything you’re doing is in sync with another person, and if you can’t adhere to the schedule, it can’t move forward.
I have said this so many times it hurts: When you’re a donor, your cycle and responsibility trumps everything. Every. Thing. Not only are you being paid to abide, your eggs are the life bread that are keeping someone else’s dreams of a family going. Once you start your hormone injections, your doctor may want to see you every other day. I have done cycles where I have run the risk of hyperstimulation and I had to be in the office daily at 8am until retrieval. There’s no telling how your cycle will go. Be very upfront with anything you may see as a problem and DO NOT underestimate information. Good luck.
- Kate Lee, 6-time BHED donor